The Mandatory Kale Krisps

Every Food Bloggers got one. 

Im actually more then a little embarrassed to even post this.

Yes, I've seen them everywhere, the kale krisp revolution.

From the over saturation in the vast labyrinth of food blogs... 

Clean eaters 4 lyf having one leaf a week, as an extra special reward for the 160 hours of exercise and their otherwise restricted diet consisting of nothing but oats, chickpeas and water...

 In organic stores, the kitsch packaging, at three million dollars for a meagre fist full...

 I have literally pointed at all of these things and laughed at how annoying people can be. 
Numerous times.

Then a series of unconnected events conspired to unwilling convert me.

Firstly an amazing dehydrator at the hospice shop for $15, 

then lovely lady at the organic store having several bags of slightly worse for wear kale that she kindly gifted for my use. 

Finally the inability to throw away green vegetables. 

I must confess in the most sheepish manner possible

 (picture Muttley) 

They are so fucking good. 

BLA BLA BLA they are a million times healthier

BLA BLA BLA benefits of raw food. 

"I love kale chips more then regular chips"- Oh please' I once would have sniggered, but it really isn't far from the truth.

Soooo.. here it is. 

Two ways even.

May my dignity rest in peace. 

Recipe:

1. 

1 large bunch of kale roughly shredded 

1 tbsp olive oil 

1/2 tsp sweet smoked paprika 

1/8 tsp hot paprika

1/2 tsp pink himalayan salt

1 tsp nutritional yeast 

2. 

1 large bunch of kale roughly shredded

1 tbsp sesame seeds

1 tbsp + 1 tsp sesame oil 

2 tbsp tamari 

The process for either recipe is the same. Mix everything in a bowl with your hand ensuring the kale is evenly coated with all the tasty shit. 

Place in a dehydrator on high for 2 hours or in an oven at 60 degrees for the same amount of time.

Warning: they do not last long. 

Warning: Talking about how good they are may make you look like a real pompous asshole.  

x

Abbey